its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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