Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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