Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
