i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
