I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
