I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.