i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
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he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.