Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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