you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize