did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
