so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
