hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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