If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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