If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I intend to get homeless drunk
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
