In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
