I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
