We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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