I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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