He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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