Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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