it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
