i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
