Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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