ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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