were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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