Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
