By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize