Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
