Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
