My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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