I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
