I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
