The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
