evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
