Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
