His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
