Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
