Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i now understand why vodka
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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