I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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