Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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