Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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