how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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