Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
