i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
