you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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