I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
