I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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