Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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