the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize