Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
