Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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