somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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