Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
