The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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