If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize