He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
