peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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