break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
