Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
